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  • Writer's pictureDarius Malbon

4 Tips To Improve Confidence

Updated: Nov 27, 2020

Confidence is something that every individual would love to have. However, many times there are people who lack confidence. They say over 75% of us lack confidence and to be honest, it probably is a lot more. Teens have it rough as well. 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities because they view themselves negatively. Also, more than 40% of boys in middle school and high school exercise heavily to build muscle mass because they don’t feel adequate enough with their bodies. There are many factors that can cause one to lack confidence and it can affect people in different ways. Not having confidence can cause harm physically, mentally, and emotionally depending on the person. Here are 4 tips that could possibly help you with confidence.

November 15, 2020

By: Darius Malbon

1. Stop Labeling Yourself Negative Titles

Have you ever heard the quote “Mental is to physical as 4 is to 1”? My high school basketball coach used to say that to us all the time. The crazy part is that there is some truth to it. Experts show that how you view yourself and what you say about yourself causes you to live up to those expectations. The mind is a powerful tool and our visualization and thoughts can psychologically affect us for the better or for the worse. Visualizing success and having positive thoughts can definitely change the trajectory of your life. I remember when I played basketball for many years. The games I had doubt usually ended up with me playing awful and not to my potential. However, the games I had confidence were the games I played out of mind and in the zone as one would call it. These were the games everything came naturally and easier. I’m not saying having only positive thoughts is an easy thing to do, but if you can stay positive, it tends to allow you to be optimistic and have better results.

Reflection 1: The mind is a powerful thing. What you think, watch, say, and who you hang around impacts you. Gravitate toward positive aspects of life to transform your mind for the better.

2. Understand That The World Is Not Focused On Solely You

I am not saying this to be mean. I am saying this because people have their own lives as well. Many of us our worried because we think someone is looking at us funny or someone cares that we have a pimple on our nose. I’m not saying that people don’t notice things about you; however, people have many issues and obstacles that they are dealing with themselves instead of solely putting all their focus on you. How many times have we noticed something about ourselves that was amplified in our mind to realize other people didn’t even see what we were worried about? Knowing that people aren’t solely focused on you allows you to be more free and allows you to not worry about pleasing people or being perfect.

Reflection 2: Since people have their own lives to worry about, it allows us to find ourselves and not having to worry about being perfect for everyone here on Earth.

3. Prepare Yourself For The Possibility Of Rejection/Setback

Rejection is a part of life and nobody is exempt from it. The key is preparing yourself and finding a way to handle rejection more efficiently. An example would be if you have a presentation at school. You need to make sure you rehearse and do extensive research to make sure you have the confidence to present the most effectively. You will do much better and if someone doesn’t like it, don’t take it personal but use it as a learning situation. We all have to realize that not everyone is going to like everything we do but how we handle our mind after rejection is crucial.

Reflection 3: We cannot avoid rejection but we can control how we deal with rejection.

4. Do Activities That You Enjoy

Find your purpose in life and do what you love. When you do activities that you love, it boosts your self-esteem and it allows you to enjoy your time. This could be reading a book, watching a show, playing sports, cooking, riding rollercoasters, travel, and anything you deemed enjoyable. Once you realize that it’s about how you feel about yourself and not what others think about you, confidence will boost and you can enjoy yourself more in life. Many times when this happens, you don’t even care about being popular anymore because popularity doesn’t make you happy but finding your purpose and doing what you love does make you happy.

Reflection 4: Find yourself and enjoy life!

1 Peter 5:10 – And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist nor professional in this area. If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

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  • David K. William, “12 Simple Ways To Boost Your Confidence Right Now” Lifehack, January 16, 2020, accessed November 7, 2020

  • “11 Facts About Teens And Self Esteem” Dosomething, accessed November 7, 2020

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